Battling my Demons, Cracking down on the eternal checklist, The Second Depression

And so the angry mob is back to hack at my brain and stretch my insecurities the size of a bill board. Ouch, ouch, ouch! ”God it’s really not so great to be young sometimes.” That’s what my mom says. Some days I have been paralyzed by thoughts of how much better is so and so [...]

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Elections, The Visual Self, and Returned Happiness

I should probably never get involved with politics because I can already imagine myself jumping off my podium and physically attacking people of the likes of John McCain and Sarah Palin. I was reading about his new ad in which he slanders Obama using the first line of a speech of his from September 2007 [...]

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Odette visits the Treasure Island music festival

My crazy discombobulated hedonistic romance of a life has it’s perks more than I am inclined to admit or appreciate either in my day to day life or on this blog. Dysfunctional though I may feel, I have been granted certain privileges due to my unstructured way of living. Yesterday I attended the Treasure Island [...]

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For a Brief Moment

I woke up thinking her hand was in mine. I said to her “You’re joking, you’re not really dead.”
“Yes I am,” she said, “You’ve known this for a long time.” All the sudden this became difficult to accept. I don’t know what state I was in or why she was laying next to me holding [...]

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Because I Want To Become a Magician

“Personally, I loathe tricky effects, photographing through the fireplace from the viewpoint of a piece of coal, or traveling with an actor through a hotel lobby as though escorting him on a bicycle; to me they are facile and obvious.  As long as an audience is familiar with the set, it does not want the [...]

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Confusion, Low Energy, What to do…

Future Future, what type of person am I? Am I the type who just has fun and accomplishes nothing, or am I the lonely soul living wholly for her art, and which of these two is better? No it’s not that simple, but these questions come to mind nonetheless. 
Recently I have not been feeling motivated. [...]

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Shootings, Goings, The Hot Hot Heat

There have been numerous shootings east of my house in the mission. This was mentioned to me by numerous friends some of whom were near the places where said incidents took place. 
Last night I met Rochelle for dinner at Emmy’s prior to her two month leave in South America where she will be teaching. I [...]

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Movies and Motels

Yesterday I got some of my final things from my old apartment. I ran in and out with a little white dress while my scrouge like roommates and their new flatmate sat at the table like the evil step sisters in Cinderella. Though the insecurity of living out of boxes and plastic bags can be [...]

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Here We Go

I keep re-writing the start of this entry, trying to figure out exactly what I’m trying to say. I guess all I really know I want to say is this: I’m moving tomorrow, thank god. I wasn’t really thinking about it at all, but now the time is here and I am fortunately blessed with [...]

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I’m in a Coffee Shop on A Sunday

And it’s very beautiful out. I am sloppily writing down some story ideas in on word, when really I should be writing them on final draft but oh well. I have had a really disenchanting weekend as far as the people in my life. One of my ‘good friends’ invited me out to dinner and [...]

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